I have talked to you about ‘Me Time’ and how valuable that is for you.  Having time to yourself gives you time to think and reflect.

Be honest with yourself, and then you can change anything. Here are three questions that may help you. Ask yourself:

1. ‘What Am I Pretending?’
When you have the answer or answers to that, ask question two.
2. ‘What is that hiding?’
When you have the answer, ask question three.
3. ‘What is this stopping me from having in my life?’

When I did this exercise, it was very painful for me.

Firstly, I didn’t think I was pretending anything in my life and tried to gloss over it. By keeping focused on the question ‘What am I pretending?’, it struck me like a bolt of lightning - I was pretending that everything was alright with my relationship with my eldest son.

‘What is that hiding?’
What I was hiding, and what I discovered, was that I had not forgiven him for his behaviour and appearance when he was 18 and 19 years old, when we lived in Japan and I was ‘Mr Important’ Chief Executive. That he almost broke up my marriage to his step-mother, who I have now been with for 35 years.

The answer to the third question, was the most painful: ‘What was this stopping me from having in my life?’
And what it was stopping was me having unconditional love, between my son and I. There are seven years between him and his younger brother. His Mother was a professional singer and worked almost every night, except Sundays.  So in many ways I was his mother, as well as his Dad.  He and I were inseparable and had this magic bond between us.

Confronting the issue with him was very painful, and he told me I had been very tough on him over the years.  I said I was sorry and was not conscious of my behaviour.  I told him about his and my relationship for seven years before he had a brother, and that I was not going to go to my death without restoring the unconditional love between us.

It was pretty heavy stuff, I can tell you. But I can also tell you there were miracles. As I changed, he changed, and a great weight was lifted from me, and I guess from him too.

The unconditional love between us was restored.

You have already done an extraordinary thing.

"Happiness is like a stampede," says Professor Nicholas Christakis, from Harvard University Sociology Department.

"Happiness has a protective effect on your immune system and you produce fewer stress hormones," said Andrew Steptoe, a Professor of Psychology at University College, London.

A smiling behavior alone is going to have a very positive impact on your relationships and your life. Focusing on the future, the power of having a Vision, and using your Imagination are great ways to enhance your life. I wish you great success, joy, health and happiness in all you choose to do.

Remember:
You can do anything you want, if you really want to do it. Tough times never last, but tough people do.

Hello, how is your smile developing?

Today’s exercise is very simple. Do you know the fairy story of Aladdin and the genie in the magic lamp?

The story goes that Aladdin found this lamp and he rubbed it, there was a puff of smoke, and a genie appeared and said, "Master, your wish is my command."

So I want you to imagine that you have a magic lamp, and when you rub it, the genie appears, and says your wish is his command.

What would you wish for? I suggest you write it down. It’s time for you to DECIDE what you are going to do with it! If it’s wrong you can always make another decision. So please decide right now. The clearer you are about what you want, the more powerful you become. Be specific, put in as much detail as you can.

What does it look like?
What does it feel like?
Whose there with you?

Make it colourful; you don’t want a black and white life, do you? We used to say decide clearly, specifically and POSITIVELY what you want. But I have discovered for me that changing the word positively to PASSIONATELY is so much more powerful.

Look at the word "passion" and break it down:
PASS - I - ON

If you demonstrate passion about your dream, and what you want, you will enrol others to help you.  (You’re not in this alone, but that’s a lesson for another day).

I am so blessed as I live my vision, dream, aspiration, everyday. I have a huge passion for my life. I love what I do, and I do what I love. And so can you.

Another point that we have found supports people to decide, clearly, specifically and passionately what they want, is to ask a question, which seems to help them clarify more.

The question is:
Have you decided what you want to DO to be what you want to BE?

Knowing what you want to do will often be connected with your purpose, the reason you’re here.  This can often be a driving force, in propelling you to what you want to be.

Please write down what you want to DO to be, what you want to BE.
Decide, clearly, specifically and passionately what you want to DO, to be what you want to BE.

Please write down what you have discovered so far.

Well done, this is a very big step to starting on an amazing journey, and I would suggest becoming a person who creates EXTRAORDINARY things.

If you realize how important goals are to you creating success and happiness for yourself, I think that many more people would be more goal focused. The major reason people don't set goals is Fear.

My interpretation of fear is:

F=FALSE

E= Experiences

A= Appearing

R= Real

We set up in our minds about other people's criticism, that they will reject us. How many times do our parents tell us, ” don't be ridiculous, you can't do that”? We naturally want to please our parents, so we stopped doing it. We have our dreams crushed. As a child were you criticized or discouraged?

The way to overcome fear of criticism is to keep your goal to yourself; don't tell people, except your boss, your partner, and anyone else who you may need to help you achieve those goals. And, of course probably the biggest fear of all is fear of failure and being laughed at. This keeps so many people frozen and paralyzed from taking action.

How can you have success without failing? I often say in our seminars, that Thomas Edison attempted to make the light bulb 10,000 times before he succeeded. He was asked by a journalist, “Mr. Edison, you failed 10,000 times to make the light bulb,” to which Mr. Edison replied, “I didn't fail, I just learned 10,000 ways of how not to make a light bulb."

I leave you with this thought that I taught my children, and which has served me well in my life personally...

If you don't make a mistake, you don't make anything.

Please tell me who crashed your dreams?
How do you feel when you make a mistake?