One of the great diseases of mankind is loneliness.

I meet many people, whose life is empty, with some few acquaintances, often from work and some family members, who they cannot really communicate with.  It seems these people are in many cases, doomed to not much joy or love in their lives.

Some tips for overcoming loneliness, a subject many of us FEAR, yet is not much talked about.

It is most important to take small steps to meet people and make social contact.  This maybe scary, but you can do it.  Don’t focus on just one person in the beginning.

I talk to the cashiers at the supermarket checkout and with people in the store.  Ask questions, be curious, if you ask a question, you usually get an answer.  If you have a hobby, walking, movies, reading books, join a class for beginners.  Meeting new people is part of our learning.  So get involved with other people, they may be shy like you.  Step out of isolation.  Get to know yourself better, learn to love yourself, you are really a nice person and talk to yourself in the mirror.  Say I love you and your name.  Do this for 30 days and there will be a new, brighter you.
In the business world, life at the top can also be lonely and a reason people do not want the top job.

This is why the advent of the business coach has become popular.  (I personally have difficulty in understanding, how people who have nil or limited business experience, or who have never had leadership experience, can call themselves business coaches, but they do.)

These business coaches, can give an unbiased opinion and they are not emotionally involved in the day to day activities.
They need to be trusted.

CEO’s need to be focused on the organization’s vision, the big picture of future possibilities, they need to focus on the future, because that is where they will spend their lives, in time to come.  That is why the decisions they make ‘NOW’ will impact that future.  That is why CEO and organizations need to know where they are going.  CEO’s need to set the course and steer the ship to it’s planned destination.

Like the captain of a ship, another lonely job.  A great way for CEO’s to overcome loneliness is to develop an aligned team.
T    =    Together
E    =    Everyone
A    =    Achieves
M    =    More

Aligned, means everyone is going in the same direction, they speak a common language.

They work and have developed an environment of cooperation.  The organization is flexible in its behavior and not rigid.

They all know where the business is going.

These dynamics create TRUST and this dissipates the loneliness.

So don’t be a lonely leader, be like the person who develops the above organization.
You will have fun, a great deal of satisfaction and achieve some outstanding results.

Brian Martin is a former CEO of Levi’s Asia and Triumph International.

Be honest with yourself, and be honest with others.

Facing up to your own truths can be painful, but as you probably already know intuitively, not facing up to your truths strongly inhibits you from accomplishing what you truly desire.

It’s also hard to know yourself if you’re not honest with yourself, with all the consequences.

It’s your choice: face your truths and grow, or avoid your truths and be stuck.

The benefits of facing up to your own truths are considerable. You’ll be able to respect yourself for your courage, which in turn allows others to see your courage and to respect you for it, which in turn makes it possible for them to follow your lead, which ultimately helps you to accomplish the outcomes you want.

How willing would you be to give your precious energy to someone’s cause when you saw that they weren’t being honest with you?

Being honest is more challenging than it seems at first glance. For example, do you always live up to your word? If you say to someone “I’ll get back to you tomorrow”, do you always do so? Or did you ever tell your child you’d be at their school sports and then not show up? Every missed commitment counts. You notice when other people miss their commitments, and they notice when you do.

“You can deal with anything if you’ve got honesty, because from honesty comes trust and with trust you can communicate.”

You have already done an extraordinary thing.

"Happiness is like a stampede," says Professor Nicholas Christakis, from Harvard University Sociology Department.

"Happiness has a protective effect on your immune system and you produce fewer stress hormones," said Andrew Steptoe, a Professor of Psychology at University College, London.

A smiling behavior alone is going to have a very positive impact on your relationships and your life. Focusing on the future, the power of having a Vision, and using your Imagination are great ways to enhance your life. I wish you great success, joy, health and happiness in all you choose to do.

Remember:
You can do anything you want, if you really want to do it. Tough times never last, but tough people do.

I have talked to you about ‘Me Time’ and how valuable that is for you.  Having time to yourself gives you time to think and reflect.

Be honest with yourself, and then you can change anything. Here are three questions that may help you. Ask yourself:

1. ‘What Am I Pretending?’
When you have the answer or answers to that, ask question two.
2. ‘What is that hiding?’
When you have the answer, ask question three.
3. ‘What is this stopping me from having in my life?’

When I did this exercise, it was very painful for me.

Firstly, I didn’t think I was pretending anything in my life and tried to gloss over it. By keeping focused on the question ‘What am I pretending?’, it struck me like a bolt of lightning - I was pretending that everything was alright with my relationship with my eldest son.

‘What is that hiding?’
What I was hiding, and what I discovered, was that I had not forgiven him for his behaviour and appearance when he was 18 and 19 years old, when we lived in Japan and I was ‘Mr Important’ Chief Executive. That he almost broke up my marriage to his step-mother, who I have now been with for 35 years.

The answer to the third question, was the most painful: ‘What was this stopping me from having in my life?’
And what it was stopping was me having unconditional love, between my son and I. There are seven years between him and his younger brother. His Mother was a professional singer and worked almost every night, except Sundays.  So in many ways I was his mother, as well as his Dad.  He and I were inseparable and had this magic bond between us.

Confronting the issue with him was very painful, and he told me I had been very tough on him over the years.  I said I was sorry and was not conscious of my behaviour.  I told him about his and my relationship for seven years before he had a brother, and that I was not going to go to my death without restoring the unconditional love between us.

It was pretty heavy stuff, I can tell you. But I can also tell you there were miracles. As I changed, he changed, and a great weight was lifted from me, and I guess from him too.

The unconditional love between us was restored.

Here is a real wealth-building exercise for you. Make a list of everyone in your life who gives you a gift through your relationship with them.

Maybe it is the lady who smiles at you when you buy your daily coffee. It could be the person who cleans your office, who makes your workplace a pleasant environment and empties the rubbish. (Just imagine if the rubbish in the office and the staff cafeteria piled up every day!)

As you make your list of names, list up the gifts that you receive from them. Think of people who are not necessarily in your immediate world.

Maybe the lady in the post office, who helps you send a parcel. Or, of course, the members of your family and your friends who add value to your life.

Now make another list. How could you enrich and add value to these people’s lives? It is probably something small for you to do and which will be big for them. Like giving them a hug.

You are well on your way to having some positive transformations for enriching you life.  I am sure you have made some interesting discoveries as you are walking along life’s path. You are becoming a pathfinder.