I realize that, as a parent of many years, I have not always operated in a way that was best for my children. Of course, I realised this after the fact, by providing them with what can be termed ‘constructive criticism’ when I now realize they needed more encouragement. I gave that too, but probably with heavy father overtones.
Of course, my kids did not come out with an instruction manual and my wife and I did our best based on our experience (which was very diverse from each other's). She was a ‘Polynesian Princess’ as I visualized her, and I a young British gentleman (well hardly, the training didn’t really work).
With the progress and learning as each year goes by, I understand things a lot better now. This is probably thanks to my long corporate experience of the several thousand people I worked with, as chief executive, a leadership and communication training facilitator, or an executive coach.
Just recently, a lady was telling me how her 21 year old son had gained a university degree, but had no job. She was quite distraught about this, being Japanese and from a culture of hard work, where having a job was socially important. Her husband, an Englishman, did not hold the same views.
In our discussion, I discovered her son had developed an invention involving technology, which he was wanting to market. I expressed the virtues of what this young man had accomplished at a very early age, and showed her, that encouraging her son would and could only enhance her son’s results. After all, he was only wanting his Mom and Dad to be proud of him. I asked her what she wanted for her son and she said "success and happiness". I then asked her what she thought that her son wanted; she replied "success and happiness."
I then asked her, "Which one out of encouragement or criticism would get what she and her son both wanted?" She saw how putting her son down was not helping him and realised how powerful encouragement would add value to his life. She wept at her awakening, and I felt the emotional pain she felt.
So let’s remember: The Greatest Shot in the Arm we can have is Encouragement.
Please hand out some, and make a difference.